The Gospel about the wedding feast of Cana tells you that I will speak about marriage today. Homilies are supposed to be based on Scripture and the Bible says so very little about marriage. Here and there you can find a verse about husbands and wives. So here is what I will do. I will look at three of the parables of Jesus to see if they have any lessons for us that might benefit the marriage relationship.
Let’s begin with the prodigal son. He ran away from home and came to a situation where he was starving to death. He wanted to jump into the pig pen and steal cobs of corn from the pigs. When he came to his senses he headed back to his father’s house. He said, “Father, forgive me because I have sinned against God and against you.” His father said, “I forgive you. You are welcome in my house.” That parable does not mention marriage but the lesson of the parable is very important for married life. The broken relationship of the father and son was repaired with these words: “I am sorry.” And “I forgive you.” much the same way, marriages are blessed with healing and growth when spouses can say to each other: I am sorry and You are forgiven.
When Jesus was teaching in Galilee, He told the story of the Good Samaritan. A certain man fell victim to robbers and was seriously injured. A priest came by but he did not help the victim because he was in a hurry to get to Jerusalem. A Levite came by but he was in a hurry to get to Jericho. A Samaritan came along and his heart was moved with pity. He poured oil into his wounds and wrapped him with bandages and took him to a safe shelter. Jesus concluded the story by saying to his audience, “Go forth and do what the Samaritan did.”
That story has something to say about the marriage relationship. The priest and the Levite look like fools because they are in such a big hurry. They don’t have time to stop and help someone who has such a great need. How many marriages are suffering today because husbands and wives are in such a big hurry that they don’t have time for each other? In this parable, the Samaritan turned out to be a Good Samaritan because he took time to help someone who was hurting. Husbands and wives can be good Samaritans. They can be the heroes of the story if they cut down on the hustle and bustle and make sure that they have time for each other.
When Jesus was traveling through the countryside, He told the parable of the weeds and the wheat. A certain farmer planted wheat in his field. During the night his enemy planted weeds in the wheat. The hired man said to the farmer, “With your permission I will pull up those weeds and throw them away.” “Don’t do it!” the farmer said. “You pull up both the weeds and the wheat. Let them grow side by side. Just be patient. At harvest time I will separate the weeds from the wheat.”
How can we apply this to marriage? I think the weeds in the story can remind us that every person has a few personality traits that rub us the wrong way. For example, one spouse likes to be early and the other spouse likes to be late. One spouse likes to do small talk and the other spouse can’t stand small talk. One spouse enjoys shopping and the other spouse hates to go shopping. So you’re tempted to change the things you don’t like. You’re tempted to change your spouse right here and right now. You would like to separate the weeds from the wheat before another day goes by.
At this point, the parable has a lesson for us. Wives and husbands should be patient with each other and not seek to change each other. They should accept each other’s strong points and weak points and let God do the judging.
I will close by calling to mind the Catholic definition of marriage. A definition that is easy to memorize. Just five words.
“Sharing of life and love.”
The key word is always the verb. Sharing is the verb. Christian marriage is the “sharing” of life and love. Sharing of everything that that life has to offer: sickness and health, poverty and wealth, good times and bad times. Sharing everything that life has to offer.
Fr. Jerry